When a Spouse Dies Without Revealing Personal Information

One of our readers asked what one should do if the spouse dies without revealing personal information including his/her will, location of personal documents and assets, etc. A spouse going to the grave with this information is definitely a big challenge to the surviving spouse and the family. The situation also provides an excellent opportunity for the family to lose some of the deceased’s assets to opportunists and greedy business partners.

Unfortunately, gauging from the information that we are always getting in the press and court rooms with almost every prominent person that dies, hiding personal information from families and spouses is the norm rather than the exception for Kenyan men.

It is when a prominent person or successful businessman dies that we hear claims from children and wives that nobody appeared to know about when the deceased was alive. Often times, it baffles how these men live secret double lives that their wives and family know nothing about. Could it be that the families know but always pretend things will work out finally and their father and husband will abandon the double life at some point and get back home to care for the one family he swears to be the only family he has? Could it also be that the bonafide families hope that nothing can go wrong until they are caught by the inevitable?  Could it be that those families are simply ignorant of the possible consequences of their fathers’ and husbands’ actions? Whatever the case, the truth is that many Kenyan men and women die without revealing their personal and family information to their spouses and families.

So, where does the surviving spouse or family begin the arduous task of unraveling the deceased’s secretes that may determine their survival? Elsewhere on this site we have written on what to do if a close person dies and one has the responsibility of dealing with the death. We shall therefore now deal with what one should do soon after the burial.

Unveiling secrets of the departed is a complex undertaking that requires sobriety, confidence, patience and determination. Depending on the economic status of the deceased, it may take a few days to even years to find out all the necessary information on the person’s documents and assets. The surviving spouse and family should even be prepared for claims and court battles from creditors, previously unheard of families, business partners, extended family members etc.

There are many sources of information that you may explore to gather information on your departed spouse and these should be contacted without delay while the memories and sympathy for bereavement are still fresh. One should however carry proof of the spouse’s death such as death certificate, burial permit, chief’s letter, media death and funeral advertisement etc. The strongest document is the death certificate. The sources of information provided here may not be exhaustive but they offer a good guide on how to obtain the information. They include:

1. Employer: employers usually have a lot of personal information on employees because they handle personal earnings and investments. It is also a legal requirement that employers must keep information on their employees.
2. Friends: Friends may not have your departed spouse’s documents but usually they give good insights into the person’s character and where they are likely to have invested.
3. Business partners and associates
4. Registrar of births and deaths: The surviving spouse and family would need to obtain a death certificate from this office. The death certificate becomes the most important document for dealing with the deceased’s affairs. However, it is important for one to maintain a copy of the deceased national identity card as some offices may wish to see the document, that is surrendered to the registrar on issuance of the death certificate.
5. Investment and financial institutions: Even if you don’t know exactly what your spouse’s investment plans were, it is good to know what institutions he/she was dealing with. Such institutions would provide useful details of investments the spouse made but never disclosed to the spouse and family. Most institutions operate with a code of ethics and are unlikely to swindle surviving spouses their rightful share of their departed spouse’s investments.
6. Personal Lawyer: Your departed spouse’s lawyer would definitely have valuable information and could even be the custodian of your departed spouse’s will. However, some lawyers have been known to be unscrupulous. The surviving spouse and family should exercise caution to safeguard themselves from being swindled by such lawyers
7. Personal estate manager (agent): If the departed spouse had an estate agent, the agent can provide valuable information on real estate investments the deceased had made
8.  Relatives: Relatives may not have any documents but may provide useful information on where certain documents could be obtained from.
9. Departed’s insurer: The insurance service provider of the departed spouse would have information in insurance investments of the deceased.

Armed with all these sources of information, a surviving spouse and the family will be better prepared to unravel secretes of a departed partner. But as the old adage goes, “forewarned is fore armed”. It is important for both spouses to ensure that they share their lives, including their investment plans. If one spouse is hiding the information, the other spouse and family members should take keen interest in the trends, associates and friends of the secretive spouse, always keeping notes of snippets of information that the spouse or friends inadvertently release. Such information, though in bits and pieces may be very useful if the spouse goes to the grave with his/her investment information.